I'm A Cola Nut

I watched a commercial for Hotels.com the other day which encouraged me to call and speak with a "certified hotel specialist."  Now that was encouraging to know that I wasn't going to deal with just any person answering the phone in some distant call center so I could make a reservation.  It brings to mind the titles that people adorn themselves with that bring nothing to the game and implies who knows what.

But think about it, what's one of the first things you ask when you meet someone?  "What do you do?"  Once we hear they're a certified something or a doctor of such and such or president or an evangelist (please, enough with that one!) or a manager or technician or a customer experience manager---well you get the drift---we place them in a neat little box that probably reflects more our cultural bias than what they're capable of or how they might solve our problems or simply elevate an otherwise mundane day to better heights. 

I was talking with a writer today and we discussed the unhealthy need for labels.  She's in an academic organization that regularly butchers the language with double speak and nonsensical phrases that may sound important but only hide the true intent of those using them----mainly to get something over on the minions and masses while seeming "caring" and "employee-focused.".  Language defines us and sadly manipulates us as well.  All of us who write for a living know our transgressions and we'll have to account for them in another life.   

As for me, today I learned that I was "pre-approved to be approved" for a "generous" home equity loan, "the smart way to reduce those nagging high interest credit card balances." You bet.  I fear we are becoming inured to words that bring neither clarity to the human conmmunication process nor  something more tangible like an honest connection with the real world we inhabit.  But now that I've been pre-approved to be approved, the next time someone asks me what I do, I'm going to say, "I'm a Cola Nut" and see if that meets with their approval since those "nagging" balances are now gone. 

Say goodnight Alain.